Discussing Death

When I was pregnant with my firstborn, I wasn’t just preparing for his birth; I was simultaneously preparing for his death. My unborn child, I learned about midway through my pregnancy, would not survive outside the womb. Faced with this reality, I just didn’t know where to turn. I had questions. Hard questions. Ones that I was literally afraid to ask. Things I wasn’t sure were even okay to discuss.  And I didn’t know what options were available to me. I felt very isolated because nobody else seemed to be talking about babies dying. Unless they had lost a child themselves, nobody seemed to “go there.”  Nobody seemed to be talking about death, period.  This experience was more than a decade ago and it is what led me to the work I do now. I found my way and it became my mission to help others on their own journeys through birth and death.   In my roles as a parent companion, support group facilitator, and doula I hold space for them as they contemplate and express their wishes and their fears. I have been present for a lot of hard conversations and difficult decisions. I have also seen a lot of beautiful connections and witnessed a lot of strength and love.  Part of a death doula’s work is holding space for [...]